lifelikegummies™

Weird people

2008-11-01T01:06:00.004+08:00

Went Safra for bowling with wz, ron and ben. And we meet so weird auntie. Pardon me for the tilt of the video. Tt was a hassle to rotate it back, the format was .mp4, couldn't use movie maker.

JEC

2008-10-27T01:34:00.007+08:00

Work @ JEC was slack. We were staffs of the Organizer. There's nothing to do really, but I kept walking around, finding things to help others. In the end, I did alot here and there. Btw, those exhibitors brought candies, potato chips, drinks and Oreo so that they can attract people to their booth. And we saw this banned item on one of Chinas' booth.

Its called Golden monkey milk candy now.

But same colour packaging, same rice paper and from same country

therefore, same kidney stones.

At the last day of the JEC show, exhibitors were giving out all their candies, and gifts away to anyone, including us (the organizers). There were sweets, pens, lollies, organiser notepads, gecko cuttings, and choc. The choc was nice, and they gave us tons of it. Its from the company named AKSA.

This is the chocolate.

Then I edited its packaging.

Boring stuffs over and over again.

2008-10-19T02:50:00.003+08:00

Early in the afternoon during work, I found this piece of note for me. "Krey, I am suffocating. Next time don't wrap me too tight ok? - Poor tweety" Yea, my boss is indeed, gay. Act cute. Bth.

Kave came after work to waste time with me again. Talking with him always clears my mind, and made me understand more. Each time, I get to know what I really wants, clearer and clearer. The kind of friends I have, desmond and kave. You doesn't need to pretend to be someone that you're not infront of them. No faking at all. No burden, no stress, no pretence and no byes-byes.

Meet Mr Zhao's father, Mr Zhao.

So that's it?

Remove every relation with me

Like I've ever existed before

And I'd always thought you were always right

Then I realise I've been blindly mistaking
Now it's goodbye.

IHY.

Lighter now.

2008-10-16T22:51:00.003+08:00

Went over to Lavender with ron for passport collection. && we couldn't make it in time for the last lesson, so we decided to lunch @ Army market. That place do bring up memories. Feelings like those that you'll get when you're @ the airport. That kind of saddness you'll feel when someone leaves for some other countries. Anyway, went movie with Pradahood after that.

Blood all over my face

"You were everything, everything that I wanted ......
....... All this time you were pretending so much for my happy ending. "
有些爱只给到这真的痛了
真的够了, 我不等了

Why do you do this to me
Being there for you used to be so easy.
I can feel that I'm dininishing in this world.
I thought you cared about me.

Rewind.

2008-10-13T21:39:00.002+08:00

Updates before school reopened.

Seoul Garden @ MSQ
House bunny-ed @ CWP

Then it was work on sunday, the last day of the holies. As usual, was damn boring. Found this figurine chucked somewhere @ the cashier, so decided to play around with it. Frankenstein with an one dollar coin and a $1.20 cute bookmark. And conversation with a fortune cat.

Frank : Can I have this?

Me : That's twenty cents short.

Frank : Hello there!
Mr Zhao *Thinks* : You could talk?!

The inequitableness

2008-10-08T11:53:00.004+08:00

~~Quarrelled with K~~. && I can't help but to wonder, why does people always forgets the good that I've done whenever they are pissed with something. It makes all that I'd gave meaningless. It's like after doing so much, I'm not even cherished. Tell me what to expect in the future? So it's me who should be blamed because I did what I did on my own accord huh. Great start.

So feel like sleeping the whole day, lying on bed regardless if I fell asleep or not. I just feel like lying like a lump of meat, doing nothing. Life just went back to how it was back then. Do I have anger. But I have a hinch that I can do it. All those things I wanted to do, let me finished it before I head back to you.

再不用苦苦等你偶尔的好心情

2008-10-05T18:36:00.002+08:00

On popular demands, a happy post (:

When shopping with my fatty brother. How sweet. Its been few years since we last went out together I guess. Spent alot.. ALOT. Haha, so did my brother. If you think I'm a super shopper, think again. Very few a times I felt tired of shopping. && my incredible brother made my legs sore. He literally walk me the whole bugis. Well, at least the whole shopping district.

After much persuasion, he finally agreed to go Orchard with me. And its my turn. Cine, fareast and DFS. Heng I didn't visit Paragon, Heeren and Wisma. I'mma happiest guy for that moment. (:

While waiting for kave and desmond, Met mf. I know you're reading this, just wanna say, I'm happy to see you again! && I'm happy to know you're reading this! Much appreciated (:

One more reason to love the rain.

2008-10-01T03:44:00.003+08:00

Went Eagle Eye-ing with Kave(again). The movie was not bad I guess. Good plot, so-so acting, marvellous stunts and effects but not so my kind of movie. To summarize, all I see was 2 people running non-stop. 7/10 If you want to watch the movie, I suggest you don't read the 2nd parag and proceed to the 3rd. Spoiler ahead.

It's about a system(that works for the US government) that have a life on its own. Something like the girl in Resident Evil. Monitoring everyone around the world, like the system in Batman(The Dark Knight) except this is 500x more powerful than Batman's. It ordered a guy(Jerry) to unfreeze itself because his dead twin brother found out that the system turned bad and froze it. Cause you need to scan his face to unfroze it.

Didn't want to bored people who's reading this so I'll stop. Before the movie, met Missy Xt and Hz. Went for Subway together. So I should brella Xt and Hz to get a cab in the middle of a gigantic drizzle. Ok, it wasn't a drizzle but a heavy storm. All drenched and cold like an aftermath of waterfight. Xt ran past the rain, to get to where I am trying to get a cab and was all drenched. Silly you, couldn't you just wait? I just cannot take it when you're so cute and when your hair's in a mess la. It'll makes me want to jacket you. Anyhow, hope you din catch a cold. *Aaaa-chooo* I'm cold. ~~You owe me a Fredperry polo~~.

NightRider home and I'm still blogging @ this hour. Just had a bath, more than awake you see. Well, when I reached home, it was like 3.15am. && I was a tad scared. You know, you shouldn't look into mirrors @ 3.33am. Some say you'll see the way your face look when you die. So I was like, erm, scared. As I typed this, its 4.08am already. Nothing to fear.

I didn't really went to gym this week. If this carry on, I'll grow breast instead of chest. && Mr Rich(me) was going out-of-$$. I need a charger for my wallet.

Ok, I ran out of things to say. && I was like trying to keep the words typing but it totally don't make sense. I just typing, not knowing what to type next...

Learned your importance
in your absence.

#928

2008-09-28T22:59:00.006+08:00

Went cinema for Connected @ Amk Hub with wz and yr. It was so far the best I must say. A must watch. 9.5/10. All the stunts, the crashes, the gunfires and the set. Brilliant. && I kept saying "Whaaa, Sibei(very) nice, this show!" But, I don't think wz can hear me. He's still suffering from an ear infection after the sentosa trip. Gws.

Well, all these sentimental songs are definitely getting into me. All the mood swings, the imaginations and the false hope. The disappointments and stuffs. But I guess I have to grow up then, no more fairy tales for me. No more dreaming. I've figured it out. I'll have to do something, && there's alot to be done. Sorry, but I can't afford to let you go.

"I don't care what they say",

Leona lewis said.

ily.

2008-09-27T11:48:00.004+08:00

I tried to sleep as much as possible since there's nothing to do today. The first Saturday with absolutely nothing to do. But I end up waking up @ 11am thinking that I've slept enough. I thought it was 2pm already. Should consider it as I'm used to waking up early now, so I'm prepare for NS life or should I say I can't sleep peacefully. Dreams are coming in, good and bad. For thinking too much, I can even have a dream in half an hour sleep. I'm not tired at all, I can gym the whole day, but what's the point.

I love this picture.

I've been thinking about stuffs about you, people know. && I think I've went a little stupider and said some silly stuffs. Ignore me. That's the result for staying @ home the whole day with nothing to think about. What do your actions mean? What did the words you said meant? I don't get it. I can't understand. Ahhh. People come and go, but you stayed too long.
P.s : I may had irritate you again

So feel like typing all the emotions, but it'll be probably turn out extremely emotional. I rather don't. Don't want to affect people with my craps, making them feel uncomfortable like me. How do I say it out?

How do I show you I'm better?
Leona Lewis is singing in my mind more than ever.

Ron's birthday.

2008-09-27T02:04:00.004+08:00

I promise I'll keep you company that day. I hope I did. The only lady on the sand, I'll be there [: Awful things happen, but I refuse to think about it anymore. Seriously, you guys should get a life or get some pride.

Mine is bigger.
Asia kitchen

(Next time MUST go with someone more appreciative && 'richer')

I thought they aren't supposed to be selling this anymore?

不确定我的执着能让你感动
关于你的一切我想要比谁都懂

Help! Mr.Muscle!

2008-09-25T00:52:00.004+08:00

Today wasn't interesting compared to those days spent wild-ing with Pradahood. As usual, Kave would come down to waste his tyme waiting for me to knockoff. He's going to start his private course soon && work @ burberry && language lessons. He's going to take up dance lesson with me too. Hmmm, wonder what makes him thinks that he can cope with all that. Anyway, Mr.Muscle came to help with the housekeeping (Me: wiping of cabinet tops. Him: Carry the plush - That's 1 Genie, 2 Mickeys and 9 monkeys).

A world record - Most number of plush toys held by two hands (12)

Then this expired picture. Was wondering if I'm allow to post this photo online. He said I'm not supposed to post his unglam photo. But now, this photo is not him. So heck. Anyway, if u cross your eyes, you'll be able to see the pre-edits.

The good ol' days

Still hungry.

2008-09-20T01:56:00.005+08:00

Went Suntec for Desmond's World's Gamemaster Tournament (WGT). But he lost even before we reached. Way before we reached. So walked around aimlessly. Looking @ showgirls. Can't figure out why I'm not interested. Perhaps I've turned gay. Omg.. Just joking. Dined in Vienna @ United Square. Because Desmond said it was uber delicious, we went in despite the high cost Kave and I was bickering about. It turned out sucky. Don't blame the poor guy (Desmond), blamed his taste.

Desmond && Krey

We're super fulled. He's super sleepy.

He's super nonsensical

In your eyes,
I see beautiful things.
And sometimes,
I see me.

Eat is all that I can think of.

2008-09-20T01:56:00.003+08:00

I'm hungryyy...I'm hungryyyyyyyy.... Tommorow - Seafood buffet.

Whenever I missed you too much
I'll say stupid stuffs.

The life I lead.

2008-09-18T23:10:00.003+08:00

Went Malaysia with Pradahood. Yes, again. K-box was at jaw-dropping low cost. I've walked a thousand miles, stopped around and made too much of a sound. Rested at vivo to collect my second specs. We too, need a timeout from our high-paced life. Quietly danced on the calm surface. With our hands moved in around the space. We're spastic, yeah we are. I'm not feeling well as tummy is still giving me runs. Sorry for stopping at almost all the loos everywhere we go. && I'm breathless, felt as if a boulder is weighting on my chest, I can hardly breathe. I think my time is up. That's the signal. Tomorrow - gym.

Take a break, rest my feet

你每次伤心

我每次都缺席

對不起

Pradahood.

2008-09-17T22:42:00.003+08:00

Splurged like an incredible fountain @ vivo before heading to Sentosa. Went out with Pradahood like almost everyday now. Sun tanning @ Café del Mar surely cleared my mind. Though the sun was extremely warm, eyes couldn't be open, but the melting feeling was fruitful. With the help of sun block, nothing happened eventually.

Desmond, Krey && Kave

On bed @ Del Mar

Beaches of Sentosa

Kick it.

Maybe I'd said something wrong.
Or maybe I blamed myself too much.

我想念去年的冬天

2008-09-14T05:06:00.003+08:00

Been moody lately. Don't feel like facing anyone, any problems nor any feelings. Emotions had to haunt then let it be. Here's my apologies. I didn't attend your birthday due to some letharginess. I'm sorry. I want to go out, but with someone I can spill my heart to, like my best friends. Hence you saw me at cine that day.

All I can say was to take care yourself. I wish I could, take care of you by myself. && not hoping others will. I've always believed, if only I were to hold you personally, that way, I can make sure you're never neglected. I was always here, I hope you can see it. Bring you to my white castle, together with your happiness with me. I don't want to stress you nor remind you, its just that I can't keep it in me forever. I'm sorry. You understand me?.

#913

2008-09-13T00:54:00.004+08:00

Been spending almost everyday with LABELS, my best best friends. Yup, we're freako. Labels freako.

There's this unhappiness inside me, thought about it while bathing. After some delays, I decided not to mention. Just wanna say, don't spoil others' surprises. They spent alot of time and thoughts on it and you just spoilt it by saying a few words like "He planned to ... " Remember.

&& I really don't like it when I msg someone, thinking of making it up for what I've done wrong in any way, and that someone don't reply. Up to now, there are two person. Ang*la, I didn't went to your bd party, I'm sorry. I msged you to wish you happy birthday and apologized, you didn't reply. Y** w*n, I msged to lend cash from you, you didn't reply. Guess what? I don't have to lend from you anymore. && don't ever think of asking me for help. [:

Gucci, Prada and Lv

(Will make you people look up on me)

Tight kave

Gay Lmao Boy desmond

Day at work was boring. Made this cute old crap and played with it for 2 days. Meet my friend, Paper. Paper is made from paper. && she sings. Dajie'll understand.

Over-rated tradition

Miss me. Just joking.

2008-09-10T11:56:00.002+08:00

Sorry for departing from this world since last week. Well, had nothing to tell anyway. But a few random stuff to nag.

First of all, people do backstab at times. Not everyone can please anyone. So if there's anyone you doesn't like, don't. Just ignore them. They don't deserve your hating neither do you need to waste your time on them. && I'm not talking about you, brown panther. [: I know you missed me right? Chat && meet, these you don't usually do. Yeah. You're that bad. Haha. That's what you get for asking me to update when I doesn't have anything in mind. Plus, don't whack me.

Secondly, songs @ my blog is earlicious. I just listen and listen all day. && I can't get enough of it. Sometimes I really enjoy, but sometimes I get emotional. But its still the time yet [: I'm happy, if you can feel me. Please introduce more nice english sentimental songs to add in my player.

Lastly, work just turned numb. Been doing the same thing over and over again. Like a program. But boss is coming back soon. && I drop a hint on my LVs. LOL. Hope he really get it for me and not an inflated sex doll he joked about that day. It'll be imported from japan then. Envy that. Hiak Hiak. Once I start talking about LVs. I can't stop smiling. I going to get bags, slippers.. etc.. Just waiting. Soon it'll be.

Till now. My apologies, its all crap.

All the world's a stage
And all the men and women merely players
They have their exits and their entrances
And one man in his time plays many parts
- Shakespeare

My name is Krey.

2008-09-03T00:11:00.005+08:00

If you listen to this rhapsody and read.

Thought alot for the whole day, ever since you appeared once again. Had alot to confess, alot to say. Had alot of emotions and alot of tears. But I just stopped at these few sentences. I couldn't think of any words to describe what I'm feeling. But I said those lines too many times. "I've treated her in such a memorial way and yet she doesn't cherish me." Listen to my beat and I said I'm sorry. For being so foolish and those one-sided thinking. You're one dead person and still I miss you.

Please don't go back to square one.
“你还好吗？” 我都不想回答。
不好也要笑。我知道。
"I'm tired of making myself happy."

#902

2008-09-02T00:36:00.006+08:00

Dess && koon came visit today. && the lunch with them was woa. LOL. I know its expensive now that 3 of us are broke. But these kind of days are going to be over. For money, we chiong arh!. Haha. No matter how many times I had the sesame ____ pizza from pasta mania, I won't get sick of it. Uber delicious. Sales for today was exceptionally good. && I was happy [: You walked past. But who cares?..

我记得对你所有的依赖

有的人说不清哪里好
但就是谁都替代不了

#829

2008-08-29T01:03:00.007+08:00

'Super Bowl' beancurd

Been to the IT fair today. But didn't have anything in mind. Just blind walked the whole area. Visit some friends and all. Bowling was not fun anymore. And its hard to find food to eat when your throat is sore, you can't eat anything!. Get well soon! Get well soon. Then I can eat laksa, nasi lemak and mutton curry.., drink coke and eat potato chips.. Hmmm. A slight emotions' back.

To Jose : Get yourself together. Everything will be fine and hope you're smiling again. I'm with you. *A simple pat means a lot more.* [:

To dajie : Omg. I had XinWang again. That's the last resort. Luckily there's no cockroaches.

让你占我怀里的空虚
一起唤醒心跳的声音
触动起当时的回忆
瞬间的开心

并不是你做了什么
而是应为我太爱你了
知觉只有寒的冷
笑我笨

Cough

2008-08-28T10:19:00.002+08:00

Cough my way up this morning @ 9am. I can't really sleep well for 2 week already. Coughing in the middle of the night and woke up by coughing in the morning. I don't know what's wrong, and I've tried everything I could to cure it. I really don't want to go to the docs. Lost my voice too. Mega sadness.

&& now I'm home. Like finally, but feels super empty. Plus I can feel all the emotions coming back. I don't wanna think, I don't wanna feel this way. I need something to distract my mind. That's the reason I don't like holidays. Let's take a break, and hope it don't gets me.

Contented

2008-08-26T20:43:00.002+08:00

It feels good to be closed. Tho we quarrel, conflict, don't agree with each other sometymes, but being around you guys give me so much more joy than what I can possibly give you all. Thanks.

I'll be there - 曹格

2008-08-26T18:50:00.001+08:00

When the tear starts to fall
You feel no hope at all
Don't you ever think of giving in
When the rain starts to fall
Everything seems so calm
Don't you ever frown
Cause I'll be around
And late at night
I'll close my eyes
And pray that one day you will find
The strength inside to show you
How to break through this time

Whenever you need someone I'll be there
And everything will be okay
Cause we can pray
That one day we'll find the love
That will lift us up to the sky

Whenever you need someone I'll be there
And everything will be just fine
Us hand in hand
We will make it through I'm sure
This I promise you till the very end of time

Through the good times and bad
Forever we'll always stand
One another to keep our chins up high
You don't have to be scared
Trust the promise I've made

Calm down.

2008-08-18T22:39:00.004+08:00

I've tried to avoid it. But still, had a little conflict with dad. && ya, my temper's still foul. It was about him always telling me that I look sick, skinny, lethargic and restless because I played too much computer games. Me being sick, skinny, lethargic and restless because I eat too much unhealthy food. Me being sick, skinny, lethargic and restless because I don't sleep @ the right time. Yes, it does sounds like he's saying that everything and whatever things I do are causing ANY illness. This is my parents. They blamed anything on anything without any f.proof. And I freaking hate it. They say we don't understand how it's like being a parent. Well, I'm glad you know we don't. We haven been a parent, definitely we don't. But they have been a teenager once. Why can't they be the ones not understanding us? Why do it have to be us who's not understanding them? ~~If you could look @ me long enough, you could see my middle finger long enough.~~

I told dad I want a pair of specs. Instead of telling me no, guess what the fuck he said? "Your eyes looked abit blue, looked like you have some kind of illness. Because you keep staring @ the computer la." ( What the fuck. Blue? Are you even serious? ). Then we went arguing the whole dinner. The issue about me wanting specs was never brought up again. Fuck you. It's not piss-y that they're not getting me specs, it's the blaming of us being wrong in every way. Aren't children supposed to be beautiful in parents' eyes?

I'm influenced.

2008-08-16T01:47:00.006+08:00

Sitting directly under the sun helps to melt all the information you'll need for exams.
Now I finally understand the truth behind "EY CURRY!!"

Reached home quite late. Wasn't going to online at first. But after bath, thought I had something to post about. After powering on, and sitting where I am now, my mind's a blank. Perhaps I'm too tired. && I can smell my bed.

多想知道你到底有没有雨天
有没有想我得一瞬间
想不想回到那一天
你我的手，脸成条线

永远不懂你的雨天
暗自祈祷生活好一些
你的眼泪，我掉卸
我能明白你熬的一切
It's ok.

------------------

乖宝宝
快睡觉
明天还有事烦恼
今天就要过去了
难过也要笑

傻宝宝
担心老
今年二十还不到
偶尔觉得很好笑
难道你不知道
你多好。

#815

2008-08-15T00:07:00.003+08:00

&& I feel like continuing piano. && my family's probably going to criticise me, about wanting to learn everything. Yet giving up halfway on anything. But, I don't wish to either. OK, not going to complaint today. I'm quite high today. && I'm feeling so much better. Thanks

不是太晚才明白
是太早把爱说出来
仍然不明白
手放得也快

I'm fine.

2008-08-14T12:42:00.003+08:00

Sorry, was down with high fever, sore throat, headache and flu for 2 days, today was the third. Well I thought I was going to die. lol. Fever was improving @ the first day. Then when I went to work, wasn't feeling well. No choice, endured the whole day && went home real sick. Temp was 38.9'C, But it's come down to 37.7'C already. Ahh, I dun wan to talk about it, in summary, it's worst than hell. So people, don't be sick [: .. Oh, and a good way to treat fever D.I.Ying, is to cover alot of blankets and turn off the aircon/fan. Make yourself super warm and sweat like a dog. Then you'll be fine [:

I ought to be on bed, resting. But it's too boring. I wish I can go out, like now. Oh ya, && I need to study -.-.

The calm after a chaotic storm.

2008-08-11T20:34:00.003+08:00

What weird parents I have. Mom ask to meet a girl from her workplace and ask her to be my girlfriend, (which means spending of my blings). Dad ask me to go learn Kungfu (which means wasting blings on the fees). Haha, out of the question. What were they thinking? I'm not that ugly ok? I don't need match making for goodness' sake. && I'm not that weak, I don't get bullied and I don't need Kungfu.

But mom says she's pretty. Do anticipate to meet her, but as a godsis please. Anyway, somehow when I'm out of blings, my family seems to have a lil' trouble with the expenses too. Do feel a little back to normal kinda life. When I have no money nor anything. No labels, no money and no fame. So not my kinda life.

Feel alittle sick tho. Sore throat, tummy aches and slight fever. But why do I feel fortunate? Like happiness. I feel like I've survived death && finally living as normal again. Idk.. Everything's feels good. Perhaps something to do with the cooling weather. It's like the clear weather after a heavy storm.

Yeah I know, its freaking random. I'm bored to craze at home, what else can I do?

Random thoughts.

2008-08-11T00:13:00.004+08:00

My yesterdays are precious. Cause I'll never know, one moment you're happy, the other not so. I'll never know when you treat me the same, when you don't. You never notice or realise, you can be quite a weirdo, that I, don't understand. You'll probably say, "I don't even uds myself." Well, I have to agree, no one does. I know we all hope we spend all the days together normally, no drama, no acts.

Thought I couldn't live without you,
it's gonna hurt when it heals to.
Eventhough I really love you,
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to.

&& after all these, I didn't mention that I'm going to quit.
Nor did I said I'll wait.
All I know is I'll procrastinate.
Like as always.

Typical misunderstandings

2008-08-10T01:42:00.002+08:00

*Rants from yesterday's night. Before I sleep, I jotted it down in my phone. But I feel absolutely better this afternoon.*

"I'll lost a best friend. She's cold towards me, short on replies and eventually she'll stop contacting. Just like the other one. && now I'm trying to pull it back yet I know it will fall apart again despite trying so hard to stitch. && I know what will happen if I stop patching. I've endure by not sighing, yet you people just sigh right in my face, as if I'm not vexed enough. You told me, sometimes, people just need a listening ear, can make do w/o consoling words. But that doesn't mean turning back and making my life miserable. I know it's hurtful to be mistaken for feelings you don't mean, I'm experiencing it now. && yea, I didn't think you'll turn around and say, it's too late to apologize. Looking at my fingers, counting how many best friends I've left, and I stopped at one."

If we weren't that hot-headed,
If we didn't mistaken or hold back on our words,
If we had explained clearer,
We wouldn't have said things like we did.

#808

2008-08-08T21:48:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, after some revision lectures, We went out. Like the good times, we joked on almost anything. And everything. Bus rides' killing my butt. LOL. But I love bus rides. Esp those long ones.

A slight happiness
I love my friends, they makes me smile
This is not Wishyuuwerehere.

Dinner with dad, It's been soo long hasn't it? It's warming [: Except for some naggings. I still remember asking him to go somewhere far for dinner everytyme he suggest bringing me out. As far as possible I used to request. LOL. This tyme was no diff. Then he asked me where I want to go. You should see the look on his face when I said "Sengkang". HAHA. Then we decided to settle @ woodlands. Anywhere it's ok, as long as it's somewhere I won't usually go.

So crazy stuff happened. I was on dad's bike. @ this particular traffic light, I decided to look the biker next to us. && it was Evon and her bf!. She's so surprised to see me in this way too. It's been so long since we last met. LOL. I kept meeting oldies in the weirdest way. Jasmine @ music story and Evon on bikes. LOL. What a world.

After dinner, dad tour me around woodlands after so long. && guess I've been too busy to even look @ my own town. Some parts stayed the same, while others changed so much. Just like the backyard of my secondary sch, they freaking built a church there && I didn't even know it. Haha. Dad drove me around my secondary school and yea, abit do I miss there. I wish I could go back to visit with koon and dess. I'll be fun.

&& look, Olympics opening ceremony. Haha, it'll be more fun to watch if they don't have to introduce so many countries and most of it, I've never heard of. It's getting draggy. Dad's laughing @ some of the people in the TV.

The other half of LIFE that I like.

2008-08-06T20:56:00.004+08:00

I want to go back to the spot where I found out that I love you. Perhaps I'll be able to find the courage to tell you this time round. I didn't told you exactly, but that doesn't matter. One day, I'll probably have the chance to. The study week's just great. Except for the thoughts of the coming exams. Few days of break, and few days of skuuh. I need more exciting things to do in my life. I'll have to listen to myself more. && do things that I want, things that I like. I will try not to ask for advice that often. Eventhough I hardly listen to it. Try stopping me, maybe I'll listen to you. Or maybe I'll make you understand me. [: "Life is too short to be somebody else"

All the impossible for you, I want to do.
Carry me through, cause not matter what, I need you.

Randoms.

2008-08-05T20:56:00.004+08:00

Combination of events from yesterday and today. Went movies on both days with the guys. Mummys wasn't up to the standards, 3mini hotdogs. $$ not enough wasn't at it's best too, 3jumbo and 3mini hotdogs. But $$ not enough was touching and sad with the facts of life. The selfishness of humans kills one another. You'll see it very clearly in the movie. *look around and found out I'm the only one crying real hard* Whatever will I do without you, mom. ilu.

Lots and lots of music vibes. The flow slips directly into me. I can't stop listening. When I'm with you, I'll fall for you better in time.

&& the randoms

Power of life.

Necessities of unnecessary demands.
The man behind the cam.

*If you can paint like me*

*you'll feel pain like me*

Look into my eyes and sing to me.
For the very first time, love me.
Cause I can't bear to leave,
not without you with me.

I'll always look you in the eyes no matter what you've become. You're the only one.

2008-08-04T01:59:00.002+08:00

Usually there's no second chance.
But I had it more than once.
There's still something I believe.
That's how I hold on with that tiny glimpse.
I find myself staring in the blank,
then I know I'll never leave you.
The feeling gets stronger everytime.
The feeling almost seems so true.

Where have bonds gone?

2008-08-01T16:13:00.004+08:00

Its not like I'm emotional everytyme or everyday. Its just that I only pen down those more sentimental stuffs. I'm happy for today partially cause project is finally dead, partially for someother stuff I woke up for this morning. && happens to chat wif mummy on msn. After some junk chats, we happens to talk about year one poly. We were so bonded together, doing almost everything together. Staying, waiting, laughing, joking, eating and slacking all together. Almost as if there were no troubles whenever we have each other. Well, all I can say is, things happens for a reason. && if those things doesn't happen, we won't be who and where we are right now. So, don't wish for tyme to stop cause you'll never know what the future brings. Maybe better, perhaps.

But if I were to wish tyme freezes, I would have already did when I was in secondary skuuh. But again, I would have wished tyme freezes back then. Eventually, tyme didn't stop. So we just have to move on.

Once in a while
I'm got the chance to be @ home.
But even if I happens to,
Nobody's home.

#727

2008-07-28T00:48:00.005+08:00

Tell me why

Yesterday, really didn't wish to wake up. Dreamed that we're together in a god-knows-where place. We're over the moon. Understand that dream isn't reality. But still, it was pretty. && ya, I cleared the doubts, I really do love you. Hit sales, bought some miniature stuffs and a delicious dinner. Pasta for life!. I have to say, yesterday's a good day, so is today. Hit sales way over. But alone though. Life, is by yourself, sometimes.

The moment I reached home tonight, had this sudden urge to stop doing all the things right now and leave for a holiday. It'll be great to forget about anything and throw away all the responsibilities once in a while. Let the rest worry about. I don't have to go through all this shit. Knowledge is not needed. Life is. I need to get my life back. Give me a break.

The more one think it's impossible
All the more one have to do it.
-k'

If I know how.

2008-07-25T00:34:00.003+08:00

Selfish and stuborn, I reap what I sow. Pain and more pain, more and more. To know that someone is vexing over something else, & here I am vexing over that someone are just making things worst. The whole thing you described are totally different from me. What you're touched by, I cannot give. I just won't understand how it feels. I feel so useless and stupid. Forgive me, for being so dumb. Lead me out if this.

I came to a point
where I fall for you again,
I tried my best to stay away,
but I can't.

I'm sorry, I know it hurts.
Do you know? To me, more it hurts.

嘿，我真的好想你

2008-07-24T11:58:00.004+08:00

Why all my friends are like that? Why do they treat people the same way. Is it because I treat them the same way, thus the way they treat me? What the hell has my life become? I want a new life. Start everything from scratch. Cause this life I'm going thru, were too wrong. Maybe I should have start off as a nerd. Study all the way to U, graduate and die. Not a social person. Doesn't quite have friends. I don't want to love. Or a hooligan. Fight all day. Gain trust and become very high ranking, get arrested or get killed. Die anyw. As the whole of my current life are mistakes after mistakes. I shouldn't have done this and that. In fact, I shouldn't have done anything that I'm doing. I wishes I wasn't born, only then, I wun have these problems. Stop all the music, I think of death.

如果没有你
没有过去
我不会有伤心
但是有如果
还是要爱你

如果没有你
我在哪里
又有什么可惜
反正一切来不及
反正没有了自已

Shhh.

2008-07-21T23:20:00.004+08:00

We chased the sun together once

Don't tell me, I'm thinking already. It's so complicated and confusing. It's not so simple. I'm empty w/o you and I can't live if I'm empty. But if I have to, I have to. Just give me more time.

Sing to me
before I leave
let me
believe.

my life, my time.

2008-07-21T15:31:00.007+08:00

Low on battery. Don't expect me to run forever. Recharge me before using me. I'm running more than ever. Worn and torn by unrepairable damages sourced from mystery. Don't force to put a smile on my face. Couldn't look as nice as it used to be. Perhaps the smile now is really that fake, looked horrible. The laughters are not base on joy, just merely jokes that cracked me. Don't say missed just to make things too tense. Say missed like you mean it. I mean it. Missed supposed to feel this way. Sorry, I got out the wrong side of my bed. Nothing feels right. Once again, I'm not who I used to be. What I'm thinking is what I'll be feeling. But its so predictable and its just a cycle. My brain forms my pain.

Oftenly, I'm left on my own. I feel so alone. My little corner where there's people around. Just presence. Not really around me. && I'm left on my own. Doing my own things, which is nothing. My rants, my craps and my craze, noone has time for me.

Stay the same while I change
At least when views on you
I am able to relate
I used to be like that too.

My eyes are too dry, I need to cry.

2008-07-21T00:40:00.003+08:00

Why, all of the sudden everything seems and feels so gloomy? The sky was so clear weeks ago. What really happened? Nothing? It's definitely not about work, but somehow, everything happened at that period I just started working. Why is it so? It's not even linked, has nothing to with it. It's stressless. Besides pork will be opp everyday.

So why is it that I still feel sad? With a good job, a best dajie and a group of frenes. We just like to find reasons to be emotional, even if everything's seems fine, we just have to find a reason. To be sad, to be miserable. To hate and to blame. I'm so tired to try to make it up. So tell me, how far do I manage to crawl this time?

我累了，没力了，憋不住了
只想提醒自己
我真的很爱你

Tell me that I'm the one to blame
Tell me the reason why
So I don't hate you this much
...I so want to cry.

I miss you.

2008-07-20T01:39:00.003+08:00

I tried to be as caring as I can. But Alvin said it looks like you're the one that's taking care of me. It doesn't really matters who's taking care of who, as long as we have each other. It's just that, I feel useless? I sneeze while thinking about you, does that means you're thinking about me too? I used to tell myself, 自己在乎的人当然由自己照顾. If he couldn't, then I will. But it seems like I not better in any way.

Afterall, I couldn't stop someone from walking out of me, leaving everything behind like it has never happened. Yes linlin, you're right, I missed her. So freaking much that I'll lose myself while trying to figure out why. So much that I cry at night. So much that I forgot the reason behind. You made me homeless, nowhere to return when I get hurt. There's a sign on your door that says you don't want me anymore. Tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me personally please.

Worry about me.

2008-07-17T00:48:00.005+08:00

The boulder never gets too light. Feelings never get too high. When it's time, you'll feel down and out. So to ensure the emotion cycle continues. If not for anger, then for sadness. Not for pain then for numbness. Sigh.. alone at night. It's the middle of the night when you start to contemplate too much. && complaints that it's never enough.

The day we first met

The day we went out together again

The day you drove me for MC

The day you spent with me

The day I cried looking for you

The day we're the closest once

The day we went bugis happily

The day I was yours

The day we gather because of you

The day we do things together

The day you insist another snap

The day we waited

The day I leaned close to you

The day I turned 18

The day I'm truly happy

The day you were here too

The day we declared siblings

The day I came back to you

The day we met coincidentally

The day we complained

The day you start to know me

The day of marketing

The day we went overseas alone

The day you slept beside me

The day I first saw your mom

The day we were very cold
The day we went sentosa
The day we made a pact

If my time is up, if I were to go, if I were to die now, will I be missed? How far will the news spread? How many people will be sad? How many people will cry if I dies? How many people care? && how many friends I've made? Doesn't know why, I sudd feel all so pointless trying to please everyone. One moment they accept, one moment they reject. I just want people to worry about me, care about me so to proof I exist. Maybe that's stupid. But I don't think I'm that memorable. Not so important. I so wished that I could just take whoever I have now and leave, stranded on an island. Only have each other to worry about, nothing else matters. You've seen it in TV series, movies and stories, members of the stranded dies one by one. && they don't even care. To them, it's just other death.

When my time comes,
Forget the wrongs that I've done.
Help me leave behind some
reasons to be missed.

Everybit I have.

2008-07-15T23:45:00.000+08:00

Din went for Kbox. Din went for wishyuuwerehere. Din do anything. && Don't feel like doing anything. What's going to stop me have to be stress, workload and insecurities. I don't feel as lucky anymore. I can't pass my test base on luck anymore. I flung REAL seriously this time. && I think re-moduling is inevitable for vb. Sigh, tho I feel this way I can concentrate more. With a second chance, I can strike vb harder. Tsk, but its kinda tiring. To think that you're the one lagging behind. To think that I'm no longer with the crowd. && out of the sudd, I feel alone. I can picture me alone in empty space, staring at nothingness. I feel somewhat helpless. I want to help you cause I don't want to exp this atmsp, but it seems like you already did. Didi's no longer optimistic. It's time to rest, for the best. Even if this nap is not at the right time as it's during the core of importance. But I can't do anything but resting, as I have no strength. Someone, throw me ropes. This time, I'll catch it.

Work's a mess too. New job, new enviromn, new everything. Tired of formalities I have to give and take, faces I had to put on in order to hide my misbehaves, craps I have to say to interact and performance to proof I can self-attend. But thanks my Dajie dearly for giving me this job. Not only you'll be infront of me almost everyday, but save me the pinch looking for job later on. People are asking me, thought I quit for rest, then what's the hurry for this? But it never cross my mind to reject. Cause happy or sad, you'll be there. Isn't it? So what's there to afraid.

If you see light catch it
If you see dark catch it too
Cause you'll never know
When there won't even be darkness too.

Dream that dreams.

2008-07-15T05:34:00.005+08:00

Had a tiring yesterday, so decided to head directly to bed w/o even going online. &&& a terrible nightmare hit me @ 5am. Guess its the price to pay w/o saying nights or the thinking for last night wasn't ended somehow. Maybe its me that keep on pondering. Afterall, 日有所思，夜有所梦.

Here's the dream
I dreamed that I was dreaming about you getting in an accident at a point of time. (say, 2pm). Then I woke up, Deja vuu occurred. The same path was in sight and so the clock shall hit 2pm again. But before that, I call you. But you weren't with your phone. Your sis, apparently you doesn't have a sis, answered my call. You were with him. Actually I lost the point of this dream too. Does it proof that Im so afraid you're gone but life have given me a second chance or somethings else. For hanging around so close, I trade with something called concern. I hope you're happy, alone maybe.

&& you're right.
only when things happened that makes people think.

If only I could paint what I thinks.

2008-07-12T13:01:00.007+08:00

Went around town, Sakae and more walking around. No buffet tho, but sushi frenzy. Oh, && toys makes me happy. More toys equates more happy. Guess Toys'Rus was fun once in a v.looong while. Arcades makes me drool. Guns all pointing wrong :X Videos games are my fav. Never will get tired of it.

Dragon : RRAHHH~!
Shark : STFU~!
Cultures of japan

Art-teas.

I can make pictures works like paintings. Guess it's not loong before I take up photography. May pictures paint more than a thousand words. But most imptly, you're most of the inspirations in my works [:

We may know who we are

But know not who we maybe.

-William Shakespeare

Give me a reason to accept.

2008-07-11T00:16:00.005+08:00

Dont expect to laugh all day. Dont expect to see a full-tyme smile either. See, I'm not dedicated to jokes, so dont expect me to laugh at all things. Its just that, sometymes, somethings I just had no idea of. Why did it happens && what exactly happened, I do not care anymore. But seems to me that I can't help but to feel robbed of something dear to me. It keeps flashing pass me, eventhough I told myself its not worth thinking. Eventhough I told myself that I hate, but how.. Sigh. Now that everything had settled, I thought of the past. The very instant that a part of me was exported out of my life. Give me a clue on how this happened.

Tell me that I'm not alone.

You're not in this alone.

2008-07-09T01:07:00.004+08:00

Happens to have a lil' chat about how life sucks like it always does. && I doesnt know whether its me that had looked on the brighter side or that I doesnt care as much anymore. The thoughts that came to you are just reminders that you don't have to do what you're forced to. See, once in a while, most of the people do think. && realised how much they despised the life they're living now, I used to, most of the time. && I still do. Guess, life never satisfy us in anyway. Or maybe we ourself are too idealistic?.

On whatever you do, I'll support you. Its not like the end of the world if you chose either way. Just go for it. Don't miss it, and I know you wun regret it. You have to go for that interview ok? I can feel thats what you love to do. You may be still contemplating on this. But look at the time, its real late, you should get to bed now. Take care of yourself then take care of your dream alright?

We're not saying it like its so easy because it's easy, its just that, we want you to think that it's easy to move on so you dont find it tiring to continue. We all know how hard it is that on a certain time, we broke down, we gave up. We cry and we just doesnt know anymore. Its so hard to walk away, to stand up again. But we can.

You felt better letting it out, I feel better you let it out too. In some cases, to someone, letting it out not only reliefs yourself, it give that someone some feelings that I cant explain either. It just feel good, to know, you're not keeping it all to yourself and letting me share the frustration.
We all, including you should know that everybody's changing and no one feels the same. Dont worry too much, for we're in this together. You're not alone. [:

There is nothing either good or bad

But thinking makes it so

- William Shakespeare

I Hate Onions

2008-07-07T23:00:00.004+08:00

There's projects all over me. I need a breather. Give me a hand, who hates Chew? I do. More than how much I hate onions. But basic courtesy must show. If you happens to passby any Cheers or 7-11, say Hi to Chew (Hi-Chew). LOL. He's basically killing us. Give us a break, or rather give us some peace. Stop buzzing around us. Anyway, there's more ppl hating him. Call on the army of Anti-Chewing.

I do need a day off, brain shutting. I want to go to the beach, Bicycle riding, day dreaming && doing absolutely nothing. Oh, linlin, come back please. Lets go to the beach. [:
Im counting down~.

不管失去了什么
我还有你
已经不再想要
回到过去

我找不到理由说 “不过这样也好”

2008-06-30T23:32:00.002+08:00

都是你的错
你也会这么说
虽然想问你为何没勇气说你对不起

不是我的错
是你离开我
悄悄放开手而愚蠢的我以为你还温柔

走过以后
才懂得距离有多远
走到最后
才了解

不是好朋友
就不为我掉眼泪
遗憾的我
已经没有感觉
不公平
那么安静的再见
难道不是朋友
就不须要道歉

#628

2008-06-29T01:18:00.002+08:00

When linlin find me. I was always felt picked up from my fall. I always feel you stretching your hand for me. I always felt there's someone looking out for me. Love you!

For whatever reason, even if Im all worn out, just to chat for awhile, all sore are gone. I love the look on your face no matter what expression. This is the best way, cause we're smiling again as the rain's stopping.

When you smile again
That's when I love you.

You're pulling me back, but that's ok.

2008-06-26T13:15:00.004+08:00

Don't look back

Tell you the reason why I don't do the things I asked others to. Its always easy to say. Cause there's nth to be afraid of if it doesn't concern you. If it didn't work out, we don't have to bear the consequences. But if it was ourself, I don't thing we'll do the same thing. What I told about looking on the bright side, what I said about not worrying, were all biting me back. How can I look on the bright side if the one you want to look was standing at the darker side. How can you not worry if the one you care is caring for others other than you?. I know I shouldn't be back to this, but moving on with the pain hugging me just isn't the solution, I just need to get over it. But give me an antidote to move on. Cause I'm obviously under-dosed of it.

The point of stopping is not to rest, not to die but to look at the things we've done. Not to regret and cry, but to smile and accept and be grateful. For there's only one life in one lifetime. Tho regrets was inevitable, but how clear it seems that even if I could rewind, I may have done the same thing, only better. Now, get on with life. Time is wasting. I had my piece, feels better. I hesitate abt posting this. But, oh well. [:

Dear Lord, on my knees I prayed.
I just need her to know
The only one in this world
The truth about this special girl

Tadaima.

2008-06-24T23:52:00.004+08:00

Laughters all the way. Eventho this day of everyweek, we'll walk, eat and spent the second half of the day doing things redundant and feeling absolutely squeezed out, @ the end of the day, its so happy. Feels like a day well spent with brothers exploring Singapore. && experience laughters and joy differently everyweek. Tho its tiring, but when you look back, you'll realised you didn't waste a day in you life. So much better than going home after skuuh and slacking off on the couch.

Monica was prolly the best to invite to Wishyuuwerehere™ so far. Had wild and more than what we used to have. Join us more often. Its ok if you don't make a choice, but whichever you did, I'm sure it'll be a wuhaa.

I'm so glad to be back @ skuuh. I don't know whether its skuuh reopening or its resigning from GIOR that made me feel so relieve. Out of stress and sufficient of breathe at last. Its definitely not always about sadness and pain, regrets and rain. Tears can also represent joy. I finally understand. Even if things doesnt evolve, its ok to stay @ the best moment. Perhaps if you fully let go, you'll feel happier than what I'm feeling right now. Idk, I didn't.

So as to say, god finally gave me back some part of my life. Perhaps I've passed the test of tyme. I've gain some contacts of old frenes, found Puppeteer™, made a promised with brothers called wishyuuwerehere, didi of yours again and freedom. But I lost an impt person in the process. Where you've gone to, I don't know. Why, I don't know. Alright, get on with life. I don't even have enough tyme to enjoy it, why vex over small things in it. Haha, 3 cheers for the REAL me. Okaerinasai, K'.

Walk on
Walk on
Through the rain
and pain
But you'll never walk
alone

I want quit.

2008-06-21T14:31:00.003+08:00

I want out of this game now. People that had quited, now live as per normal. Like it had never occurred? Pretty memories, everybody wants. But when there's tymes when things dont turn out right, they just leave. So now im leaving. Leaving all the glooms, the bad moods, the heavy dragging feet, the fuck care attitude, the fake faces, the procrastination and those accommodation. Say bye bye now. And dont feel sorry. For people like them, dont be nice. I have to be harsh for now. Seldom Im so harsh, cause I always think of what's going to happen when I do this or that. But for people like them, its not even worth my tyme to think what will happen if I just leave. Heck care I say. Move away.

Mom and dad, try to understand, Im not even abit happy working now. Well I used to, but not anymore. Please let me quit. Dont ask to accommodate, I tried, it din worked. They took it for granted.

I wanted to say this for a long tyme already, but still, I dont wish to make it so clear. How can you just forget? How can you just replace? How can you just walk away just like that? How can you just stop all those contacts? How can you just ignore? How can you not see? How can you just pretend that I dont notice? How can you assume that it doesnt matter? Dont you think it hurts? Do you think I see it like the way you did? How can you be so selfish? So thats it? Maybe there's really no such thing as best friend between girls and boys. Maybe you have to cause you'll see me almost everyday. So when you dont see me, you dont have to pretend. Well, you dont have to now. Thanks for showing. && thanks for not showing. So I can walk away, thinking thats it's you fault, not mine.

Good thing tears dont show in the rain.
So I can quietly wash away all the pain.

Time for us to be in control

2008-06-19T03:43:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, Puppeteer™ was formed. My life afresh starts here. No matter what, we'll stay together, ok? In life, I need you to make me happy. In the other hand, you too will need me. The sign on letting me depend on you makes me relieve. The brothers will walk the road together, barefooted.

"Time for us to be in control"
-Puppeteer™

A break I take.

2008-06-12T21:41:00.004+08:00

Happy or not?
Tho its just a yes/no question, but its so hard to answer. Its not 50-50% of getting it right. Its your own feeling yet you cant be sure either. The answer can change so rapidly, you don't even notice. Well now, I'm sure I'm not happy. But neither am I sad. I just don't wish to think about that. Life just continue to go on. I have to keep up the pace. My feelings to myself will be ignore. I dint respect myself anymore.

Can anyone understand the feeling of being lost, all alone? I sure somewhere, there are. Feeling so tired by trying so hard to get so close, yet, simple mistakes screw it all. I mean, how wrong can you get? Maybe I took frenes for granted. Seeing in the frenelist, I've demoted. I even limited to a few bestfrenes. Now looking at my hand, I couldn't count them. Every quarrel, every conflict, I left a part of the argument for myself. I'll take a chances that I might be in the wrong. I say sorry no matter who's wrong. When it get all neglected, I start to wonder why I try to be Mr. Nice. I start to wonder will it be appreciated.

Beware, I'm so fake nowadays.

If you look at the otherside, the arrows points in diferent directions
If you just look at the crossings, you wun know if its safe

Dont ask me why.

2008-06-12T03:04:00.000+08:00

Here goes,
The way I see my brother and his gf together, were just like what we used to be only that we were better. You even joked with/at my brother. You and my family seems like we known each other. Seeing lightnings and hearing thunders, his gf screams. Reminds me of how I used to protect you when you scream. Back then you dont even wan to talk to me, just covering you ears, how much cuter can you be.

I didnt know what went wrong, but Im sorry. It all turned sour, our love cannot eat. The fruit we bear was rotten, had to be discarded. I knew it hurt you so bad, you didnt even had the courage to call me back. But you still pretend, showing me that you're glad, thats not the fact. To set me free is what you deemed fit. For me, thats was you did.

I didnt know whether I should publish this post, or even think about writing this cause I wun know whether you still reading this blog. But all I want to say was, I'm thankful for all those days. We were crazy, thats all I can say. But then Im sorry to end that lovely craze, for something thats out of my reach to give chase. See, I still can remember most of the things we did, do you? Im sure that you feel the same way as I do too. Its not that I wish all didnt happened or to go back now, well, at least sometimes thats what Im thinking every then and now. But I must be going and not hurt you anymore, with that shitty attitude, I remorse. Look, what I really want to express is, you're really lovely and good to me.

Tho I think this is silly, but here goes nothing :
Maybe Im just used to you being with me. See, for the past year, you've been fighting side by side with me, standing by me facing things thats embarrassing. Now its lonely to fight alone tho its not embarrassing, but its tiring. Noone massage like you used to, when I want to cry, noone can I hug, nowhere can I hide to. Im feeling abit sorry for myself too, but thats the route I chose. Scolding myself a dumbfuck isnt working too. Im not dread, just a little fucked up that things happen just like that.

I used to talked about you 24/7 , thats before I started gaming till you're angry. I've stopped gaming, I'll had wished I done that early. Its just plain useless to say all this now, maybe it just feels better to jot it down. Im not being thankful just because im sad, not just because everything 's over and I regret. But its just that I wished to say, thank you and say that Im glad.

I guess I better get going, had to work. Remember when you say, why with you, Im always poor? With others I can buy diamond necklace and even pearls? Everytime I work my bones out, I reminisce, Im not letting you down on those sentences. It all had ended but Im still working. For what reasons, Im still pondering. But I come to no conclusion and Im drained. Its all different, it'll never be the same.

Luck, I'd prayed to you that day, for nothing goes wrong on that day of May. You backed out on me man. Now the sky I see isnt blue, but grey. People might dis me for posting. Saying not to cherish only once you lost it. But its not what this is meant to be. Guess I never mention how happy I was. Here, Im going to tell you I was and all. The last time to you Im apologising, from yours truly, Im sorry.

I have alot to say.

2008-06-09T01:39:00.011+08:00

This is going to be abit lenghty, bare with it.
On Saturday, I went LP to relief. Woots. That's like visiting the old grandmother's house, that's where I grew up. Had alot of fun, and all the crazy stuff we do there, complaint, as well as laugh at ppl. That's where all the evil and jokes were born. Home xweet home. Luckily, yan && xy were working. The two angels left @ LP. Was like heaven once again. So happy that if i could, I dun wish to go home that night. I miss you two. Can i give you a hug here. *sniff*. I wouldn't have been me if it weren't all of you. yan and yun one of tha best !.

After that went to meet the dumbest pork in the whole wide world. So dumb that if you search "dumbass" on Wikipedia, you could find her profile. Ok, I was joking. The details, I'm not telling. Sorry. Had some chats with you, && glad that you still scold ppl like you don't care. Well, I don't care either. I kinda think your midnight sales is more tedious than mine. I'll take half of the pain. Gambate. I don't mind sending you home everyday even if it means getting stabbed everytyme.

I'll swallow this secret for you provided you do what you promised to do. Same words, diff person, diff effects. I cant be more special than him, so don't do it for me, do it for him.

yan && me

yan, xy && me
hahaha

Today, went on shift @ PS as usual. Well kinda think of it, if you had to stuck working @ PS, its not that bad. If I got a choice, of course I wun. I had to waste an hour everytyme I went to work. "I need 48 hours a day."

Ras && me
jus, here's your bunny kh. -.-

My body is going thru a major cleanover. Been having diarrhea for whole two days already. argh. I'm feeling so weak now. && I even feel very cold. Now I'm really sick ): I'll take a rest.

Btw, vocal lesson has taken a slight flight. Due to a new student, who sings worst than I do, I got more confident. Haha, all the best to me.

Lastly, I'm going to start learning again. Skuuh work is murder, but I got nine lives. Good luck kh. ps : I'm so going to win myself a jumbo Tasmanian devil. Thanks :X

You are not happy with "the-some-other guy" anymore.
You made me worry too much
我不再拥有勇气
qxxhzyq

我今晚的脆弱
没有人懂
我的难过
被带走

Its not the same.

2008-06-03T10:21:00.002+08:00

今天心情还不是很好，打完球还是不这么开心。也许是我错了。但我只是随口说说罢了，没想到你这么伤心。那么，对不起。

Blew your top.

2008-06-02T22:43:00.003+08:00

People says, when you fall, you have to get up on your feet yourself. But why things keep rubbing salt on my wounds? Weakening my knees, that's already sore from kneeling.

Who am I? A guy too soft-tempered or just plain pampered? Perhaps I doesn't have a temper but I expect others not to have one, what was I thinking? Others have what they believe to be angry about, I don't and I cant comment on that. Perhaps its just too long since I understand why do people get angered by mere things.

I shouldn't continue to contemplate on it. Cause things like that will just take care of itself. If it doesn't, I wouldn't know what to do. If it were somebody else, I wouldn't have care, but its wasn't that somebody else. I found out that all humans have many sides, && most of the tyme we just look at one of it only. Look carefully, you'll find out most of the sides, different ones, but you'll never find out all of it at one tyme. Look closely.

也许好人做太久
也期盼
人人都一样
不然就不想
继续作笨蛋

心理还有很多想要跟你说的话
没想到那些话是那么地难表达
到底还要多久才肯听话
以后的事等以后在说吧。

Here's my apologies.

2008-06-01T01:55:00.003+08:00

I don't know what's wrong wif me. I kept thinking that I'm the one that spites you all the tyme. I kept thinking that somehow, you're hurt by me. I kept thinking that I'm a burden, I shouldn't had live. Or am I the really the one that you're angry wif? Sorry for not having tyme to talk to you about all your troubles. I've am too busy. && you never look for me. Everytyme I just need to know, what is it? So at least I don't need to worry that you're still angry, worry about how you're feeling @ home, worry about whether you're hating yourself, hating other people or hating me. Cause everytyme we talked, at least you'll voice out all your grief, you'll swear all the vulgarities, you'll feel better && lastly, you'll laugh. This is my way of saying I'm sorry for you, that you're sadden or angered.

弟弟会照顾你。
放心谈心，
相信自己。

Resolution.

2008-05-30T21:18:00.005+08:00

My angel will keep me strong, just be saying it so. Don't worry. Never did I thought I'll be back on feet so soon. Though I'm just merely running away, not solving anything yet, but will still move on happily. Thanks for the unexpected consolation, it lighten up my sky. For the future, we'll survive.

I wish I could spend my life together with you. Had thought of all the colourful places we could go. && I had wished to let me be the one. The one to complete your dream, that is to travel around the world. Put in all in pictures. Paint it in forever.

So don't worry. Everything will be, will be.

她睡了
我是否也该休息了?

Spells Narnia

2008-05-29T22:22:00.003+08:00

After skuuh when the practicals were cancelled, we went Narnia-ing in AMK Hub. Not mentioning the details, just met monica(: , MY && gina[: In the end went movie together.

Gina's T3

Together in AMK Hub

Did I mention that after the movie, ALL of us just din feel like going home. So went 166ing to god-knows-where. ps : Haha, partially my mistake *gomen nasai* The actual destination was Clarke Quay, but in the end @ Clementi.

Self-murder.

2008-05-27T22:11:00.004+08:00

&& i just realised just having two most important person to you wasnt enough. If you're vexing over the most important person to you, u could tell the other. But what happens when you're vexing over both of them? && that's when you'll felt most lonely. The weather for me is getting colder. And the silence is too loud. I need to get away.

I din thought it would be so serious, Im sure no one thought so either. That's why everyone's were not so concerned. Right now, who knows what Im going through? I thought there are many. But that's not how it seems. My fate just turned its back on me, && now im left with nothing. I dont have to deny, Im crying like fuck now. God has took away everything. ''Thank god''

your eyes,
are the brightest of all the colours
I dont want to ever love another
you're always be my thunder.
Forever.

Im sorry.

2008-05-26T16:35:00.000+08:00

Im sorry for shouting @ you. Im sorry ):

Moveover.

2008-05-26T11:30:00.001+08:00

I cannot sustain another emotional moveover anymore. So i wanna quit my job. I wanna take an alternative. Away from all the faking, all the face-giving. I don't want to pretend anymore. But I have to go thru the job finding fuck stuff again. My mind is in a swirl lately, to quit or not to quit. If i don't quit, then its too stress to work in such an over-expecting environment. If I do, wat do i do then? Have to re-get use to ppl in new environment, just fucked me up. Anyw, the reason for the need to quit, I've been transferred to plaza sing, yes, again. But this tyme is diff, i hate that place. I don't like the in-charge. && i cant procrastinate anymore. The in-charge had spoke to me, its either I work harder, harder as in 100%, or I quit. I see no need in me. So its bye bye.

好想在跟你牵着手
牵着曾有过的温柔
哭过以后眼泪
还是不停的的流

雨下过之后
黑白了那彩虹
泪流乾之后
没笑容

Working hard.

2008-05-23T23:02:00.001+08:00

I'd a sudden urge to learn photography. I want to take cool pictures. After I got myself a camera, or I had the cash to, I want to learn. View the pretty world through lens, that's far more beautiful. But I'll finish my vocals 1st. Then photography && lastly, continue my piano. Music is beautiful, but hard !. I have to ganbate ah.

Ooh boy, tomorrow I'm working. But, its only a half morning. Meaning, 11.30am to 3pm. So I'm free. I want to go out, but no one wants to. I still have project to re-do. Sigh, I need more tyme. I have to ganbate x2.

Yup. I drew this.

Even John Little was bleeding love.
Such a coincidence

Let future worry about itself
for I had the present to worry about.

#522

2008-05-22T16:05:00.004+08:00

One of two days of not working just ended. Hmm, now its back @ home slacking. Practically wasting tyme. Just finished few games of basketball with ace and zhen. Its sweating, its letting the hair down, its blisters && best of all, its fun. But don't worry, I'll NEVER tan myself. Imma pretty boy [:

Saw quite a number of woodgrovers, so I had this sudden urge to visit secondary skuuh. Packed, packet & packed, how can I manage my tyme. I need more tyme & $$. I need nuff.

One more random stuff, I had two blisters each on one big toe && i finished my spray. I have no tyme to buy. *cough* *cough* Don't know why I've been coughing non-stop these days. I may just vomit blood :X Aww man I'm tired but i feel fresh. Don't stop. Play the music (:

Lets just say I'm crazy over you :X

只怕我自己又爱上你
不该让自己靠得太近
但是。。
以后再说 [:

Gathering.

2008-05-19T17:49:00.003+08:00

Went out for a while ago, && guess who i met? went in GIOR to visit rachel. Continue strolling && saw JASMINE, a.k.a tofu. super happy. missed! At last decided that CWP was crap, nothing to shop, went dapao KFC for bruncher, && saw Karen. Super long never meet her. [:

So random but just wanna shout out my little joy. For all these joys, 3 cheers.

One step at a tyme.

2008-05-19T14:02:00.004+08:00

Ok, im @ home, wmp is on, dispatched from the world. You know what to expect. Pardon me, here it goes again. I've been really thinking, If I can take a detour, maybe look for something else. Or even not take anything for the tyme being. I'll stop letting my emotions take over for today. Lets just be a plain from-the-mind kinda post. Yes, i did settle down && think, that maybe that's not what I'm looking for, maybe all this doesn't even worth what I'm going thru. Maybe its too obvious that I wun be able to proceed. What I'm really thinking was that maybe I'll just stood by you. That will be enough, at least until something takes a turn. That's what i tried to do, && i seems a little happier that way. Seriously, believe me, I'm not hurt anymore now. Or rather i feel clear. I can understand why that's your choice. Cause I can tell you're happy again. Not like those tymes when even if you're unhappy or even angry, you still keep yourself hanging. I've been thru && that made me grow up. Don't think I don't care anymore, I'll be anywhere anytyme for you. I'm sure you know. Don't worry la. Its not the end of the world for me. I think I did step away somehow, cause I don't feel as heavy now. I'm going to have fun in life now, you'll be my support.

I'll still cry, sometymes i cried so hard from bleeding. Don't blame yourself from any of these, its not only this issue, there's life, there's loneliness. and other stuff. Make sure you smile, I like the way you smile, cause that smile once look like mine && you look stunning. [: && take care of those eyes. I still have an incomplete sketch, so i need your left eye. haha, perhaps someday, you'll complete it. Anyway, I'm not affect by bleeding love anymore. So smile kh, you know you have to.

Happy.

2008-05-19T02:19:00.007+08:00

Its so good to be home. home sweet home @ central. && today closed 19+k. woots. I love central. Cant remember what I wanna post already. But 2 things i wanna say!! First is met JASMINE && tiantian @ musicstory! What a small world, to have us met in a place I thought I'll never go. You're so missed, tofu. Meet up tomorrow. Second is, i met Xiu, yantie && Hz @ PS on Saturday, one more frene I don't think i know. HELLO~!. So happy this weekend. Life just added some colours by itself. As today was so happy, break the budget, PepperLunch. Pocket burned, But I smiled. Having this first PepperLunch feeling, do you still rmb? My first PepperLunch, jap curry rice w/ hamburger. You said, PepperLunch always cheers you up && calms you down. Now i understand why, maybe you had someone to relate with PepperLunch that makes you smile.

Number 4

Nice to be back @ one
I stir, && i stirrrr

Doesn't Hz look like her?
蔡裴琳

She's so cute, my idol. Did she realy took da-ma?

Back to basic

2008-05-18T01:15:00.006+08:00

A full day @ PS can kill. Even deadlier than in central. Im lucky that i manage to survive. So next tyme stay away from PS. My whole body is aching now. I may collapse any tyme. Fast motion in PS that almost had taken my rusty life. && i broke 3 nails.

Why? Why? Why do i still feel this way? Why am i still acting like this? Im sorry, for being so useless. Incapable of forgetting you, that will be the last thing I'll do. Its no longer like a candy to a baby that easy, I know. But even if the baby can never eat a candy, he'll still like candy right? I hope you understand how important you are to me. Not like any tricks or sugar words, it really mean that way. Even if it has to be this way of the rest of our life, even if it has to strangle me for life, I hope I can be alongside with you, sheltering all the pain you'll feel. Just need to you know, you don't have to hug back, but let me take care of you even if I'm unable to protect. Ok?
&& let every Saturday be you day.

Lin~ ahlin~ ahlinahlinahlin~

me && smurf lin

If I cried that night

Blue

Curtain calls

Cant take it anymore.

2008-05-14T23:25:00.005+08:00

Why do i have to be the attention-seeker type? Why cant I just be those normal kind? Having to make a fool out of myself or others the gain attention was so freaking tiring. How many tyme do I have to hurt and irritate to finally get close? && I couldn't take it anymore. I never thought i would have blamed my nature self despite all the friends I've met because of it. It really helps alot. Alot. But why is it that god gave me this good character but doesn't teach me how to control it? I being a pest, like as always. So many tymes I'm hated and pissed by people, without knowing it. In the end they just walked away. I hate that, but its my fault from the start. && i seriously doesn't know how all of you feel @ those tymes. But this tyme i really understand how much it obstruct people. Whatever, whenever it is, please pardon me, i don't want to disturb or irritate anyone, but i dunnoe when to stop. I know its my fault, i know i shouldn't be blaming my nature so that i would have nothing to be blamed for, so in here, I'll like to say that I'm sorry.
Fuck, why do I felt so bad.

Don't worry
I'll look as happy as possible
on the outside

All I can hear is
the silence you gave me
Felt not the joy of my jokes
but the cold shoulders you lent me

No point holding on
to whats meant to be a mistake
Only me that took it to heart
it was never seemed that way

#513

2008-05-13T13:19:00.003+08:00

yes, I'm darn bored, like NOW. I'm in the middle of lecture. && for once, i went for lecture. Cause I'm really too tired to go anyway le. Shan't disturb anyone, so quietly blogger in the middle of lecture. One thing made me LOL, that is this lecturer, cant really pronoun any word correctly. Making people dozing off. I'm quite high now, blasting music with my mp3. The lecture was actually very quiet, but in my head was the same as live band. *nods head* Haiz, have to go work later @ 6pm, kinda felt too no lifed. I kinda feel like quiting le, ahhh. Anyway, jies don't quarrel ok? if both of u quarrel, i cant be be with the 2 of you @ the same tyme le. [: Mummy was moody too ): Cheer up everyone ok?

I really feel like posting my emotions now, but i know how it used to affect people. I dont want to regret anything again. It kinda feels like back to the past. At least abit. Care-free everyday, is that what i really want? *sigh* Anyway, just don't think about anything, musicstory comes first [:

Life isn't that bad
We just wished it was more
perfect

for you
I can withstand hurt again

Rants.

2008-05-12T00:38:00.002+08:00

Another full shift @ central. Yes, like any other days, its killing me. But today after 6pm was Aisha, she was fun [: Having a slacky incharge during that 4 hours, was so enjoyable. Had quite fun tonight, so was a happy boy. Being a happy me, usually I'll hang around with absolutely nothing to do. && i did just that, i went back to Lucky plaza to visit. Was supposed to be a happy reunion and chat non-stop. But some pig had a bad day, and spoilt mine. Bottomline, I'm not a prefect guy, not even an passable one. I know I'm a money hose, but its not up to you to lecture me. I'm doing all this is for myself, not for you or anyone else. So stop saying "do this kind of leisure things only when you are capable of it". If you know me, you'll know it pisses me off. I'm here (LP) is cause I'm waiting for you, not to listen to your crap. I'm saying this in public for the fifth time, I'm racist. If you fucking smells like curry powder, get away from me. I'm seriously pissed, but not on this.

But i promised to myself, never get fired up with girls. They are meant to be treated nicely. But sometimes, they don't deserve it. Tsk, seriously, i shouldn't be so pissed, I'm sorry [:

*ps : forgot to mention, for the first tyme i heard a mouse squeak yesterday.

This is what i had this morning @ central

&& i finally had my Bak kut teh

All i know was that you're someone special

Never did i thought you're an angel

#511

2008-05-11T01:21:00.002+08:00

More & more to come, && its getting real boring. Day after day, standing, strolling, stoning and dreaming, life isnt just about wasting tyme @ central. Endure is the word attached to it. Owell, hope tomorrow will have something interesting happening.

look @ some weird aunty

she just dashed into this area and sit down, around so many crowded people

这个世界

一定有人喜欢你爱的人

他能给她你不能给的体温

仔细想一想

就会觉得自己很可笑

自己的爱是这么地渺小

If the weather is cold

and it feels like the end

would you still be behind me

holding on to my hand?

I need a break

2008-05-09T19:01:00.002+08:00

Looking at my own schedule, & i realised i did not have a single day free for a rest. Work and lessons had taken up all my days. Im working so hard that im falling apart. Waking up with a fresh breath? More like waking up with a body full of pain. But never complaint about it. Cause at least i had something to do & not wandering around haunting people. && it just happened that today, a Friday, I had nothing on. Felt strange and kinda lost. Like a robot w/o programming. But anyway, that will be my last free day. From tml onways, I have no tyme! BUT if anyone going anyway, please call me along, at least ask. I'll make it free. I seriously need a life.

oh great, I'm doing silly things again

别说你知足
别说不要在付出
天长地久有多久
我们才在最初
还有很远的路
要一起幸福

#505

2008-05-04T23:43:00.002+08:00

Everyday things flashes on me. May not be regarding me, or involving me, but do made some impact on me. And whatever it is, let life shine on me. At least im a little happy.

Let life shine

bro & me
dad & me

& out.

2008-05-04T00:10:00.004+08:00

Today will be the first day @ my new workplace, GIO central. The view there was wow, able to see the sg river, esp the night view. Dint know I'll get used to it so fast, I'm already enjoying myself. The CD they were playing was so nice, songs that i knew but seldom listens to. You all understand what it feels like right? Like not sick of it yet knows it @ the back of your head. Typically, breathless and bleeding love. The only difference was, upon hearing bleeding love, it no longer hurts. Rather, i felt happy, like what I'm supposed to feel in this song. I feel like I'm starting my life anew, && that I'm living again. Central wasn't bad @ all, nevermind the getting-lost-on-my-way and the couldnt-find-Ljs moments. && today, Ibnor came for handcarry, & linlin came visit b4 MOSing.

Cheers to my new life
&& please dropby
its quite lonely here
especially at night.

happy birthday to CANDY.

2008-05-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to CANDY [:

finally sweet 18

getting sweeter

attracting more ants

Its broken, dont pick it up.

2008-05-02T22:13:00.004+08:00

I think I've been too honest with myself, doing the things that's fair to my heart. && its not only killing me, which wasn't intended to, but also to many people around me. Esp the most impt one. Am i tensing your emotions a little too much? You dont have to worry about it anymore. I'm sorry.

Its tyme to be a little unfair to myself. && ignore what i feel, at least for the tyme being. Guessed I've hurt them so much just because i dont want to hurt myself. I'm selfish, but i hope not anymore. I still think i have a chance, but, I'll leave it to next tyme. Heh. But i have to tell you this, if its killing you, free yourself. Not because of me or anything else, but because of yourself. Shouldnt say on this, the picture doesn't include me in the first place.

I'll say this once again
I'd always wished I met you earlier
Guess this play doesn't have a choice
to amend the tyme
on when and where we, the actors, appear.
but we can change the tyme and place we disappear.

Downed.

2008-05-01T17:32:00.004+08:00

Candy's birthday party @ coasta sand. Drinks and no-food ;( Cause was playing games before BBQ, && drunk after BBQ. Totally ignore my minor feelings for today, im not in the best mood. Just watched 100% entertainment, & saw danson, && just motivated me to style my hair nicer. Heh. Like i always say, not handsome enough :X

very sleepy @ this point in tyme.

Gina && me ( red )

joseph monica && me

Monica & me

Now i realised what i've bled
is not pink,
its red.

听了这么多歌
我又想哭了
童话故事
一点也没发生。

This is the first tyme
you walk out of me
You dont have to do this
to make me understand
i know im silly
i know im stupid
But understand me
It isnt easy.

i felt that i kinda looked like him
is this why u mistaken me while you were empty?

Random

2008-05-01T17:15:00.004+08:00

Some random pictures in lect. Cant really remember what i was doing. Cause already few days ago le. && i felt that i've lost interest in editing photos, tho some photos will defo look nicely edited, but kinda lazy to do. So pardon me.

me & yi quan

wenzhen & me

me in my vizard form

Bye bye.

2008-04-28T01:22:00.003+08:00

Everyday I walked out the house w/o saying bye. But no one will bothers. Its as if im living all by myself. My existence is nothing but a near emptiness. The end of this cycle marks another's beginning. And im so drained by it. I wanna break it. I seriously think i get more attention in skuuh and LP. From frenes and klassmate. At least, they call my name , once in a while, not only when they needed me.

Here's a big news.
Im getting transferred to central @ clarke quay. I ought to cry? But i cant. i dont know y. I'll missed you all. Its something that you cant pen down in words. Just when i said, just the four of us, we'll bring LP back. Now its only 3, and its you all, not including me. Its like moving house w/o your parents. What happen to the world? Just months ago it was heaven, now it turns to hell. Did i fell way too down? All the way down to hell? Rest well kh, you ought to feel fucked up. You're tired now. Get over it. Or get a new job. You'll live. Just give yourself a break. No use working so hard. You'll still feel like shit.

YY yan me

Suddenly
god took everything away from me
You, naiping then LP.
Is it because im not sad, or im too scared
that i dont know how to react.
Tired, but somehow i feel relieve.
Because i no longer believe happiness still lies within.

虽然我受的是这么小的伤
但是是伤在我心的右旁

Its saturday

2008-04-27T02:22:00.007+08:00

26th april
After work went slacking with yeewen. Very tired last night && blogger image cannot load. So in the end fell asleep. Have to update yesterday's stuff. Shant mention more, cause i cant remember. LOL.

we bought candies

kiss you

The Orchard MRT tunnel

Whiteboard adverts

Draw draw draw

Green apple vodka

Not nice

Its saturday, again.
and like every saturday,
I think of you, again.
no, its hard to penetrate me
but you did.

#425

2008-04-25T23:00:00.003+08:00

Today was quite lifeless. As what skuuh are supposed to be. Stone for most of the lessons. Until finally skuuh ended. Then started to [: Cause im going to Vivo with yanrui. Saw mummy on the way to train station. Usually its hard to persuade her to go, but today was easy. Heh. 3 kids almost forgoten to alight at the station. Mummy needs to go 1st to meet her bf. After that was chatting with yanrui @ the deck. Its been long since i went there to soak my feet. Still as breezy & nice. After relaxing, as the sun was too warm, more shopping. Until i really feel like sleeping. Then we headed home. Din really do much today, but not considered wasted.

这么多的夜
安静地了解
我双手存在的意义
是为了抱紧你。

Ultimate

2008-04-24T22:12:00.003+08:00

Bored to the maximum ordy. The otherside of the picture below was teacher teaching. BEST, webcamgiggloing, in klass, infront of teacher. && of course, disturbing klassmates. Msned Ben, the last guy in the pic, to "say cheese".
Powerful.

Im starting to lose interest in skuuh again. This year was too early, damn. But I still din absent from any lesson. BIG improvement. Heh. I guess this year have to drag a just-pass. Have been same for every year. Kinda tired of it. But, well if I cant gather interest, what can I do about it?
"I have no choice"

#423

2008-04-23T23:39:00.008+08:00

Finally get to go out with my klasmates. Its been for ages. Went movie [ Forbidden Kingdom ] @ AMK Hub. The movie was so-so. Not as much as i expect it to be. The fight scenes were noobish

even for Jackie Chan + Jet Li. Ahhhh~ its supposed to be the most awesome action show this year. Crap. && they all speaks in English. WTH. Even Jade Emperor. Throw the ticket into "The gate of No Gate" heh. 3 jumbo hotdogs.

[edited] Just remembered, the Kpool was bleeding love too. *curse*

&& the usual, camgigoloing in skuuh

Yanrui & me

These people just entertain me, whenever i feel like it. Even if it means taking photos in the middle of the klass. [: to have these people.

Before the movie

The barcode of my life
is unscanable.
The truth behind the lines
are like the hand i once held,
un-understandable

Why is it that I cant get fat?

2008-04-23T00:57:00.003+08:00

Crap. I've been unable or rather not sleeping early so frequently that I've forgotten its not healthy. Whenever I feel like it, I'll ask bro to go down to coffeeshop next to my house to supper. @ midnight that is. But somehow I dont get fat. Darn. Had chicken biryani + fish burger + 2 drinks.

24/7 coffeeshop, how convenient

As usual, I'll play with my burger

My life as a norm
is coming to an end.
I need you
to start my life special.

#421

2008-04-21T23:40:00.003+08:00

Its so boring in skuuh. All the lessons and everything. Monday till 8.30pm was sucky enough. Esp the last lab lesson. That crapper keeps using jargons like what what port, what what connector. Flaunting his knowledge and the ability to memorise everything. Ahh, whatever. I dont understand a crap he say, just thought the dragging of the little computers & all the linking was fun [:

Lab also able to emo

My drawn tattoo

Close up

What we could have been
is all been wondering.
Have to been through all
to believe me.

You gave warmth
and surprised me.
Now I need it
more than anything.

You can forget everything
pretend and leave.
The question is
do you really want it?

Not me.

I can still be a street poet
jotting down in diaries
everything about you
everything about me.

As long as it keeps me happy
its all worth it.

Bleed tears again.

2008-04-21T11:44:00.004+08:00

Think of closing dwn livejournal, cause there's actually no more things for me to see. Frenes dont post what they really think anymore. Somewhat useless dont you think? Yet I have to check on empty posts everyday. && kinda love my blogspot more than livejournal now. Well will decide again some other days. Think I frighten xy that day, when I suddenly call out her name and cried. Come to think of it, quite embarrassing. I missed everyone, even myself, the old self. I dont want to find myself tho. im satisfied this way. Ya, I bled tears again, this tyme in public ordy. Seriously I cant take this anymore. The more I try to silent it, the more I think of it. Everyday, everynight. Before I sleep, after I woke up. When i look at my handphone, when I finished my call. Im laughing, but not because Im happy. Just cause its funny. By the way, my enthusiastism for my work is kinda backed. As I needed more $$, I'll stay.

I dont care what they say
Im in love with you

Dont understand why.

2008-04-19T02:20:00.007+08:00

Yanyan's birthdae party todae @ essential brew. Such an cosy place to be, sitting on the floor with cushions and large window view, just one sound : woo. Such a good place, wonder if i had a chance to go again. Wala Wala after that. Lastly, naiping dad's ride home. Having cab sick frequently. Have to sleep early tonight, having slight headache now.

@ MOSburger bishan

Hwa sen & me

Me & ling ling

Essential brew buffet

Birthday gerl & me

Sweet care

Wala wala for drinks. Im addicted to it. But kinda dont like the taste, for the thrill perhaps. What's happening to me?

No more courage to stay

Neither have strenght to walk away.

真的妒忌了吗？

凭什么妒忌啊？

真的很在乎吗？

他们在一起关你什么事啊？

Struggles of life.

2008-04-18T01:00:00.005+08:00

Going partying for yanyan's birthday. && everyone will be there. The deeply missed chubby too. Saw you @ FarEast tt day, & realised how much i missed you. It'll be fun. Definately.

Best buddy prays for each other. here's mine. perhaps next tyme i'll need yours. Its ok to make mistakes. The one who reported it is accounted for it too. Cause it wun be a mistake if not for her. Dont worry too much ba, im sure you'll be fine. Cheer up in klass. If i have to make it sound bad to wake you up, den i'll will. Give us smiles, thats the least you cud do to stop us for worrying dont you tink?

Back to me. well i guess there's no longer anything i can do regarding mine. The route you chose is clear, at least for now. Oneday i'll uds why. But seeing you swallowing the rough tymes on the roads, its ought to kill me right? Its so normal to feel that mayb i'll do better isn't it?. Ya i know, its so silly, im starting to see it too. Dont you worry abt me tho, worry abt yourself. Taking care of yourself is another way of taking care of me. But i will still depend on you on omost anything. So dont you think you got loosen up. heh. Will it be as said, im feel uneasy just because i cudnt have you?

Talked and flashed the past of me. The highest point of my life up to now. Guess its not that easy to let greatest love silent. Afterall, perhaps I just covered the bitterness with overreaching sweets. I dont know. Im still the same? Maybe. Im feeling kinda sorry seeing you struggling with love when i cud be the one to set you free, but i chose to abandon you. Or ever worst, am I really only sad cause i lost you? Will it be as said, im feel uneasy just because i cudnt have you? Are you crying now? You probably cant slp tonight rite? Here's a pat on the head. Its alright now, you can slp oready.

I've heard alot of negative or rather disencouraging words. I guess i'll have to let it slow me down for now.

Struggles of life are all the same
It only look different

2008-04-15T15:06:00.001+08:00

UPDATE!!!!!!

Happy birthday...to me.

2008-04-01T01:17:00.003+08:00

My present from me.

went out movie wif naiping and colleagues.

rule #1 was wow.

4 jumbo hotdogs.

made alot of frenes this year.

as i look back on my saved msgs

only 4 happy bd msgs last year.

2dae, fone have been ringing non-stop [:

but i also read some old msgs,

from mf.

not those happy ones.

&& some other stuff.

oh well.

just when im just starting to feel energetic.

i felt tired all of the sudden after switching on com.

you've been thinking too much

and some emotionally stuff went over you

relate it to me.

and this is what i expected to see.

rest now, both you & me.

this is never what i bleaf.

Corner of the lone.

2008-03-30T01:39:00.003+08:00

one more day of killing houseflies.
but woa, today we actually have dragonfly.

here's pics of me again. feat. blue NutriSoy

星期六的夜
我特别想你。
也许我不应该
但我无能为力。

Red is the colour this year.

2008-03-28T22:47:00.002+08:00

its super bored at work already.
its no longer fun.
but, slacking is so damn enjoyable.
just slack forever.
wohoo.
think most probably go chiong on tues night.
DOUBLE O.
1st tyme [:

happy advanced birhtday, xiaoyun [:

pics taken during breaktyme feat. the red plaster

taken some other days ago

Happy advance birhtday, kiinhwa [:

2008-03-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

guess today i woke up on the right side of the bed.
kinda in a good mood.
the kinda mood that makes you wanna shout to the sea.
abt how much you like it. how much you need it. how much you missed it.
see i even colour my post.

last night went to slp late.
@ ard 4am.
cos reached hm after chalet ard noon.
had a super long nap
and was wide awake in the middle of the night.
typed a morning msg
and was intended to be sent in the morning,
so cant send it too early.
in the end, was too afraid that i overslpet. tossed and turned and finally it was 11+
sent and went to bed.
tot it was finally a deep slp.
little did i know i was tossing and turning again
this tyme was waiting for the reply msg.
yes. i recieved at 2pm
no slp at all.
but after i received it
strange but i was smiling so sweetly.
almost wide as :D

anyw i gotta stop irritate ppl ordy.
well enuff of this issue.

2dae went cwp wif bro.
well its like once in a million years.
went coz he said he wanna get smting.
that kind of ting you get free bcos u buy smting.
heh. i cant mention. its meant to b a suprise.
so lets call the 'ting' A and the 'thing you have to buy in order to get 'the ting' B
after we fin B supposely you have to throw, its smting lik a food.
so we threw it.
so in the end.
my bro threw A tgt wif B into the bin
main point of the story is
he threw A and B
therefore.
its a wasted trip.
*yawn*
if this isnt a suprise that i cud mention openly.
if will b so easy to xplain.
dont get it?
forget it.

heh.
nth fun happen actually,
but just that im in mood for blogging.
so i wanna blog anything.

oh yes.
i rmb.
played wif bro @ viwawa big 2.5
won alot of rounds.
my bro pm in viwawa "cb...u damn li hai"
haha. won a couple of dubbs fr him.
heh.

tink will b slping late 2nite.
for ppl who sleeps now,
goodnight [: